The Heart Behind Bridge the Gap

This is an honest and vulnerable blog post about Bridge the Gap, its history, and me. I hope you’ll get a glimpse into the heart behind this work and why it exists as you consider how it might serve you, support your role in the lives of others, and, through you, serve even more people.

I am in the throes of building Bridge the Gap. Today, I’m spending some time reflecting on this journey and thinking about all that has brought me here.

Bridge the Gap is not a sudden thing. It is the culmination of 22 years as a certified biblical counselor and many years before that as a helper of people in various professional and personal contexts. As a counselor, I have worked for free for much of that time, and at other times for a very small income. I have owned my own business before, and I have also run a nonprofit version of that business with a small staff that served as a training center for future counselors. I have volunteered in my church and in my community.

Recently, I came to realize that I needed a fresh way to do the things I love in this season of senior citizenship. I also need income because my husband and I need to work until…well, until we can’t.

I am entrepreneurial at heart. I love the process of starting from scratch with a new idea, finding new ways to do the things I already love to do and feel called and gifted to do. I love the creative process of building something, even when I know it may not meet all my hopeful expectations. It’s fun, challenging, hard, frustrating, uncertain, satisfying, and all those things mixed together.

Here are a few things I’ve learned over the years through past ventures and now through my current one.

1. It’s Okay to Get Paid for What You Do

Your time is worth something.

In some lines of work (like mine), people often think your services should be free. The problem is that people can’t pay the bills with “free.”

It still surprises me that no one would ask their hairstylist for a free haircut because they don’t think they should have to pay for it. Yet I hear more often than you might believe that because what I do is “ministry,” it should be free.

In a perfect world where money grows on trees, I would gladly do all of it for free. I really would. (And honestly, I have done that too often.)

But I know now that it’s okay to charge fees and sell things for actual money.

I have to tell myself this every single day. This is probably my biggest internal hurdle. It’s a long story.

Every day I have to tell the loud voices from my past to leave me alone. They were wrong to think my worth was tied to my work. They were also wrong to think my work wasn't worth a paycheck. Being a woman in ministry has not been a smooth or easy road, to say the least. But that is a post for another time!

I rarely say any of that out loud. I’ve never written about it before. But there it is. I know some of you can relate, and we should be able to talk about these things, don't you agree? 

Bridge the Gap is designed to be a safe place to share our stories. No judgement. No comparing. All grace.

2. An Old Lady Can Learn New Tricks

Well, I’m not that old yet, but I’m getting there. And I’m not really learning tricks.

I’m learning website building, online store management, membership site development, who my actual target audience is, and how they can find me. (Not necessarily who I thought they would be, which has surprised me.)

I’m learning about marketing and promotion. I’m taking a risk that this may annoy some people. They’ve probably never run a business and don’t fully understand, and that’s okay.

I’m also learning to embrace a healthy use of AI. It has enabled me to do all of this in far less time and with far more skill than I could have managed on my own.

3. It’s Okay to Have My Own Voice

When I was a younger counselor, I often felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I kept quiet about some opinions because I worried about not fitting into certain circles.

Now, maybe because of my age—or maybe because that was exhausting—I don’t worry about that so much anymore.

I’m okay being a square peg because I’ve accepted that it’s how God made me. He uses me uniquely within my sphere of influence in ways that may not look or sound exactly like someone else’s.

There is a lot of discussion within the biblical counseling movement right now about unity. Those can be fruitful and necessary conversations. But from my perspective, I don’t spend much time worrying about unity—or conformity.

I’m more concerned with speaking truth, reflecting Jesus and His character, and applying the gospel to people’s struggles to the best of my knowledge and ability. At Bridge the Gap, we love God and love people. Period.

I’ve leaned heavily into my personal core values: kindness, care for younger generations, and applying the “one another” passages with both grace and biblical clarity.

When I do that, will it look exactly like someone else’s ministry? Maybe not.

And I’m really okay with that.

I know I’m doing my best to follow God’s calling on my life. I don’t know everything, but I know God, and I trust Him to lead me—and to shut me up or change my heart when I get it wrong.

When someone entrusts their need for care to me through mentoring or counseling, I count it as one of the greatest privileges of my life.

As I look back over the years, I can see that every season of my life has been preparing me for this one. The counseling, the teaching, the writing, the mentoring, the successes, the disappointments, and even the mistakes have all shaped what Bridge the Gap is becoming. My hope is that what I’ve learned along the way can be used to encourage and equip others as they walk their own journey.

A Few More Things I’ve Learned

It’s good to have hopes and dreams and to love what you’re doing. It’s also good to hold every bit of it very loosely and be willing to let it go if needed. Both things can be true at the same time.

I love creative projects. I love to read. I love to write. I love learning and growing. I love people and helping them. I love encouraging younger women. I love to teach.

And guess what?

If you look around my website, you’ll see that I get to do every single one of those things right here in the business I’m building.

It’s wonderful to have a project that blends so many of my favorite things while also having the potential to grow into my version of a retirement plan.

And the best part? I can even work from my recliner when my knees are sore from surgery.

So, what kind of project are you working on and enjoying these days? What are you learning?
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I’d love to hear about it.

​Privileged to serve you,
Ellen

Mark 12:30-31 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is, Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other command greater than these."