 Bridge the Gap exists because of a conviction: every believer can mentor, and every believer can be mentored. This isn’t reserved for the seasoned saint with decades of Bible study under their belt, nor is it something only “spiritually elite” Christians do. Mentoring — older to younger, more mature to less mature, whether in age or in faith — is simply one-another ministry in action. And nowhere is this more needed, or more often overlooked, than in our local churches.
The Need for Mentoring Walk into most churches on a Sunday morning and you’ll see adults sitting in rows, listening to a sermon, perhaps attending a Sunday school class afterward. What you might not see, depending on the church’s culture, is the kind of life-on-life relationship where one believer walks alongside another, helping them apply God’s Word to the real, messy circumstances of their lives. Some adult ministries tend to focus on programs: Bible studies, small groups, men’s breakfasts, women’s events. These are valuable, but they aren’t the same as mentoring. A Bible study teaches content. A mentoring relationship teaches a person — their specific struggles, their specific growth areas, their specific calling. Many adults in our churches are spiritually isolated. They may have attended the same church for years without anyone ever asking how their marriage is really going, how they’re handling a recent loss, or whether they’re growing in Christlikeness. Mentoring fills this gap. It moves discipleship from the front of the room into the living rooms, coffee shops, and phone calls of everyday life. Contexts for Mentoring Mentoring doesn’t require a formal title or program to begin, though structured programs can certainly help. Consider some of the contexts where mentoring naturally occurs or could be cultivated. Life stage transitions. A woman entering motherhood benefits enormously from a mother who has walked that road. A newly married couple can learn much from those further along. Someone entering retirement, caregiving for aging parents, or facing an empty nest all face unique challenges where someone who has “been there” can offer wisdom. Small groups and Sunday school classes. These settings often have natural pairings waiting to happen — an older member quietly mentoring a younger one within the context of the group, or a leader intentionally fostering one-on-one relationships among members. New believers and new members. Someone who has recently come to faith, or recently joined the church, needs someone to walk alongside them as they learn what it means to follow Christ and become part of a body of believers. Recovery and crisis seasons. Those walking through divorce, addiction recovery, grief, or a faith crisis often need more focused, consistent mentoring than a general small group can provide. The programs and groups can be very helpful, but there is always a need for one-on-one discipleship. This is what mentoring is. Leadership development. Those serving in ministry — whether leading a Bible study, serving on a team, or stepping into a new role — benefit from someone mentoring them in both skill and character. Workplace and community. Mentoring need not be confined to church walls. Christians in the workplace, in neighborhoods, and in community organizations have countless opportunities to mentor others toward Christ. Some mentoring is “inreach”. Some is “outreach”. Both are needed. Scriptures That Address the Importance of Mentoring Scripture doesn’t use the modern word “mentoring,” but the concept is woven throughout the New Testament’s vision for the church. Titus 2:3-5 gives perhaps the clearest mandate for intergenerational mentoring among women: older women are to teach what is good, training younger women in love for their husbands and children, self-control, purity, and kindness. This passage assumes that spiritual maturity is meant to be passed down relationally, not just taught from a pulpit. Romans 15:14 reflects Paul’s confidence that believers are “full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able to instruct one another.” This is a striking statement — Paul didn’t see mutual instruction and counsel as the job of professionals alone, but as something ordinary believers are equipped to do for each other. 2 Timothy 2:2 captures the multiplying nature of mentoring: what Timothy learned from Paul, he was to entrust to faithful people, who would in turn teach others also. This is discipleship as a chain — each generation pouring into the next. Hebrews 10:24-25 calls believers to consider how to stir one another up to love and good works, not neglecting meeting together but encouraging one another. Mentoring is one of the most concrete ways this “stirring up” happens. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that “iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Growth often happens best in relationship, through the friction and encouragement of someone walking alongside us. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 echoes this call to encourage one another and build each other up — language that describes exactly what happens in a healthy mentoring relationship. Together, these passages paint a picture of a church where spiritual growth isn’t outsourced to staff or programs alone, but is the shared responsibility — and privilege — of the whole body. This is the heart of Bridge the Gap. One-another ministry in action. Benefits of Mentoring For the mentee, the benefits are significant. They gain a safe space to process real struggles without fear of judgment. They receive wisdom that’s been tested by life experience, not just theory. They often grow faster spiritually because someone is walking alongside them, praying for them, and holding them accountable. And they gain a model — someone who shows them, not just tells them, what faithfulness looks like. For the mentor, mentoring is rarely a one-way street. Many mentors find that teaching and encouraging others deepens their own walk with Christ. There’s also the joy of seeing someone grow, of being part of a story of transformation. Mentors often find their own past struggles redeemed as they become useful to someone else walking a similar road. For the church as a whole, a culture of mentoring strengthens the entire body. It builds genuine community rather than surface-level fellowship. It creates a pipeline for future leaders, as those being mentored often grow into mentors themselves. It also makes the church more resilient — when people are known and cared for relationally, they’re less likely to drift away unnoticed during hard seasons. Pitfalls That May Occur As valuable as mentoring is, it isn’t without its challenges, and being aware of these can help mentors and ministry leaders navigate them wisely. Unrealistic expectations. Sometimes a mentor feels they must have all the answers, or a mentee expects the relationship to solve every problem quickly. Mentoring is a process, not a quick fix, and both parties benefit from realistic expectations from the start. Dependency rather than discipleship. A mentee can become overly dependent on their mentor, looking to them rather than to Christ as the ultimate source of wisdom and help. Healthy mentoring points people toward God and toward growing independence in their faith, not toward an unhealthy reliance on the mentor. Boundary issues. Without clear boundaries, mentoring relationships can become emotionally draining for the mentor or can blur appropriate lines — particularly important to navigate wisely in cross-gender mentoring situations. Mismatched pairings. Not every mentor-mentee pairing works well, and that’s okay. Personality, life stage, and specific needs all matter. Churches that facilitate mentoring should build in grace for relationships to be adjusted if they aren’t a good fit. Inconsistency. Mentoring relationships that start with enthusiasm can fizzle without intentional commitment. Setting expectations for frequency and duration from the outset helps sustain the relationship through busy seasons. Lack of training. Well-meaning mentors without any guidance can sometimes give advice that isn’t biblically sound, or can avoid the relationship altogether out of fear of “getting it wrong.” This is precisely why training and equipping mentors matters — confidence comes from preparation. A Culture Worth Building Mentoring in the local church isn’t a program to add to an already crowded calendar — it’s a culture to cultivate. It happens when churches create space for relationships to form, when mature believers are encouraged (and equipped) to invest in others, and when every member sees themselves as both a potential mentor and a potential mentee. This is the heartbeat of Bridge the Gap: helping you grow into a confident, compassionate mentor grounded in biblical wisdom, so that the body of Christ can do what Scripture calls it to do — instruct, encourage, and build one another up in love.
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 The Purpose of the Local Church
The church is called the “pillar and support of the truth” by Paul. God’s Word has been preserved and passed along throughout the ages by the church. Anyone who wants to grow in the knowledge of the truth and to learn more about God should find a local church that honors and teaches the Bible. They will benefit from the teaching ministry which is offered there. “Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.” (1 Timothy 3:14-15) One-Another ministry, or caring for souls or “soulcare”, belongs in the context of your local church. If we take an honest look at our churches in our lifetime, we have to admit that we have often neglected to care for the souls of our church family in this context. The apostle Paul explained that the church was the “body of Christ” with Jesus as its “head.” “And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” (Ephesians 1:22-23) Paul’s description emphasizes the relationship that each believer and the local church has to Jesus. Since the church consists of people who believe in and follow their Savior Jesus Christ, they are under His rule, and He works through them. Anyone wanting to draw closer to Jesus and experience His working in their lives will greatly benefit from coming into association with a local body of believers. God’s Word instructs believers not to neglect gathering together with other believers. Our purpose as One-Another ministers is to fulfill the Great Commandment and the Great Commission, both within our churches and in our spheres of influence outside the church. Without the local church to edify, encourage, and equip believers, this purpose cannot be fulfilled. “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25) The care that believers had for one another in Acts 2 has continued in various forms through the years. It can be defined as “believers speaking the Truth in love anchored in the Word of God, depending on the Holy Spirit.” In our culture, it is called by many names such as: *Discipling *Mentoring *Teaching *Biblical Counseling *Pastoral Counseling *Spiritual Guidance *Spiritual Formation *Friendship *Spiritual Friendship *Soulcare We Need Soulcare A church with a culture of soulcare will bear much fruit. All believers need soulcare, not just those who are struggling. We all need One-Another ministry in various forms. We do have a tendency in our churches today to neglect the hurting believer. Hurting individuals used to be taken care of primarily by the local church, but are now often referred out to secular sources of help that will not provide true soulcare. Those sources can have some benefit for learning some behavior management that brings some relief, but they will not provide what we see in our definition of soulcare — “speaking the Truth in love anchored in the Word of God, depending on the Holy Spirit.” For a believer to have lasting change and hope, she must be helped with some form of soulcare, preferably within her local church. Another good choice would be help from a Biblically-based counseling ministry if none is available in the local church. Biblical Counselors are glad to provide counseling to those who come to them from other churches, but all of them would agree that the best scenario would be that local churches become well equipped to counsel, disciple, mentor, teach, and befriend their own church family. (Please realize that there can be an appropriate time for someone to seek Biblical help outside of their local church. If someone’s problems are serious enough that they are seeking counseling, the only option may be an outside Biblical Counselor who can help for a season. The counselor’s goal will be to return the woman to her local church for further discipleship once the counseling has ended. If a person is in need of medical assistance or medication, that has to be addressed by a licensed professional. Even if that is the case, she will need good One-Another relationships in her church family as she undergoes whatever kind of treatment she and her doctor choose.) Let’s caution against creating an environment in our churches where literally all we talk about are our struggles and problems, but let’s also provide opportunities for hurting people (aren’t we all hurting at some time or other?) to get the soulcare they need, through excellent One-Another relationships. These One-Another relationships are based on the many “one-another passages” in the Bible, practicing them in the context of relationships with other believers. Where Do You Fit? Paul explains that gifted people have been given to the church in order to bring believers to a place of fruitfulness in service and maturity. “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13) We often say that someone is “called to full-time ministry.” True, some believers engage in ministry vocationally, but does that mean that other believers are not engaging in ministry? Of course not. We are all full-time ministers, or we are not ministering at all. You, too, are called to full-time ministry. We all are. One-Another relationships are a ministry, and the lifestyle of a believer. We all are given different gifts useful to specific types of One-Another ministry, but everyone has a ministry of soulcare. Where do you fit in? How do you see yourself gifted for One-Another ministry? Are you confident about your ability to minister to women and girls? What are your insecurities about it? Take some time to talk with the Lord about how He wants to use you in your relationships in your local church. As you engage in your church, be sure to help others to engage in the opportunities the church provides for their ongoing growth. Let’s encourage one another to worship, fellowship, prayer, devotion, study, memorization, service, and discipleship. Mentoring in the Local Church (an excerpt from "Biblical Mentoring, Life On Life" by Ellen Castillo)2/4/2014 The church is called the “pillar and support of the truth” by Paul. The truth of God's Word has been preserved and disseminated throughout the ages by the church. All people desiring to grow in the knowledge of the truth and to learn more about God should find a local church that honors and teaches the Bible and begin to benefit from the teaching ministry which is offered there for them by God.
“Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.” (1 Timothy 3:14-15) Life On Life, One-Another ministry is often best done in the context of your local church. If we take an honest look at our churches in our lifetime, we have to admit that we have often neglected to care for the souls of our church family in this context. The apostle Paul explained that the church was the “body of Christ” with Jesus as its “head.” “And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” (Ephesians 1:22-23) Paul’s description emphasizes the relationship that each believer and the local church has to Jesus. Since the church is a living organism consisting of people who believe in and follow their Savior Jesus Christ, they are under His rule, and He works through them. Anyone wanting to draw closer to Jesus and experience His working in their lives will greatly benefit from coming into association with a local body of believers. God’s Word instructs believers not to neglect getting together with other believers. Our purpose as One-Another ministers is to fulfill the Great Commandment and the Great Commission, both within our churches and in our spheres of influence outside the church. Without the local church to edify, encourage, and equip believers, this purpose cannot be fulfilled. “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25) One-Another ministry is the healthiest when done in the context of the local church whenever possible. You might have many other One-Another relationships outside of your local church body as well, but we are dealing primarily with the type of One- Another ministry in a local church that provides for the “soulcare” of individuals. What do we mean by soulcare? It is not a new concept. It was established in the New Testament church in Acts 2. Acts 2:42-47 “42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.” The care that believers had for one another in Acts 2 has continued in various forms through the years. It can be defined as “believers speaking the Truth in love anchored in the Word of God, depending on the Holy Spirit.” In our culture, it is called by many names such as: *Discipling *Mentoring *Teaching *Biblical Counseling *Pastoral Counseling *Spiritual Guidance *Spiritual Formation *Friendship *Spiritual Friendship A church with a culture of soulcare will bear much fruit. Whatever form the church’s One-Another ministry takes, it must be rooted in God’s Word, exalt Jesus Christ, be empowered by the Holy Spirit, and be loving. Soulcare ministry aims to produce salvation, sanctification, and Spiritual fruit. This is achieved through admonishment, teaching, exhortation, encouragement, comfort, and forbearance. All believers need soulcare, not just those who are struggling. We all need One-Another ministry in various forms. We do have a tendency in our churches today to neglect the hurting believer. Hurting individuals should be taken care of primarily by the local church, but are often referred out to secular sources of help that will not provide true soulcare. Those sources can have some benefit for learning some behavior management that brings some relief, but they will not provide what we see in our definition of soulcare — “speaking the Truth in love anchored in the Word of God, depending on the Holy Spirit.” For a believer to have lasting change and hope, she must be helped with some form of soulcare, preferably within her local church. The next best choice would be help from a local Biblically-based counseling ministry. Biblical Counselors are glad to provide counseling to those who come to them from other churches, but all of them would agree that the best scenario would be that local churches become well equipped to counsel, disciple, mentor, teach, and befriend their own church family. Please realize that there is occasionally an appropriate time for someone to seek Biblical help outside of their local church. If someone’s problems are serious enough that they are seeking counseling, the only option may be an outside Biblical Counselor who can help for a season. The counselor’s goal will be to return the woman to her local church for further discipleship once the counseling has ended. If a person is in need of medical assistance or medication, that has to be addressed by a licensed professional. Even if that is the case, she will need good One-Another relationships in her church family as she undergoes whatever kind of treatment she and her doctor choose. Let’s caution against creating an environment in our churches where all we talk about are our struggles and problems, but let’s also provide opportunities for hurting people (aren’t we all hurting at some time or other?) to get the soulcare they need, through excellent One-Another relationships. Paul explains that gifted people have been given to the church in order to bring believers to a place of fruitfulness in service and maturity. “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13) |
MENTORING THAT MATTERS:
Mentoring at Bridge the Gap matters because it applies all the "one-another" passages in Scripture, which impact the lives of mentees and mentors as they follow Christ. The one-anothers in scripture speak to how we are to relate to and serve our fellow Christians. On Mentoring Matters, we will look at various aspects of one-another care and related topics. All posts are written by Ellen Castillo unless otherwise noted. 
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