 If you haven't read the entire chapter of Titus 2 lately, now is a good time to get a fresh view of it. Maybe you’ve sat across from a younger woman and wondered what you could possibly have to offer her. Your life doesn’t look like a tidy testimony. Your marriage has had its hard years. Your faith has been tested in ways you don’t always talk about. You’re not a Bible scholar. You’re not a counselor. And yet — here she is, across the table, needing something you might not even realize you carry. Titus 2 has something to say about that. Not a polished, idealized version of you. The real you — the one who has walked with God long enough to have scars and stories and a faith that has been tested and held. There is a passage in Paul’s letter to Titus that women in the church have heard many times. It is quoted at mentoring luncheons, printed on bookmarks, and referenced in women’s ministry brochures. And yet, for all its familiarity, Titus 2:3–5 carries a weight that we have sometimes only skimmed the surface of. Paul instructs the older women to be “teachers of good things” — and then he names what those good things are: loving husbands and children, being self-controlled, pure, kind, working at home, submissive to their husbands. At first glance, it reads like a list of domestic virtues. Practical. Relational. Even a little ordinary. But look at why Paul gives this instruction. He closes the thought with a phrase that changes everything: “so that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:5, ESV). This is not a lifestyle column. This is sound doctrine in action. The Doctrinal Stakes of Ordinary Mentoring The passage sits in a larger context. In Titus 2:1, Paul tells Titus to “teach what accords with sound doctrine.” Then he maps out what sound doctrine looks like for different groups — older men, older women, younger women, younger men, bondservants. This is not a detour from theology. It is theology lived. What Paul understood, and what we sometimes miss, is that doctrine does not stay in the mind. It moves into the home, into the marriage, into the way a woman handles grief or conflict or disappointment. The older woman who has walked with God through decades of real life carries something the younger woman cannot yet possess: the proof that the Word holds. When she sits with a younger woman and teaches her — not just what to do, but why it matters, who God is, what He has proven faithful to do — she is guarding the credibility of the gospel. She is saying with her life: the Word of God is not reviled here. It is honored. It is true. She Is Qualified Before She Opens Her Mouth Before Paul ever assigns the older woman a teaching role, he describes who she is. Verse 3 says she is to be “reverent in behavior, not a slanderer or slave to much wine.” These are not afterthoughts. They are the foundation everything else is built on. Reverent in behavior. This is a woman whose life is oriented toward God — not just in what she believes, but in how she moves through an ordinary Tuesday. She is not performing godliness for an audience. She has internalized it. Not a slanderer. The Greek word here is diabolos — the same root used for the devil, the accuser. A woman who tears others down with her words cannot build up a younger woman with them. Her speech has to be marked by truth and kindness before her teaching means anything. Not enslaved to much wine. Paul is pointing at the broader category of self-mastery — the willingness to work on controlling her own appetites and impulses. A woman who cannot admit that she must work on her own struggles is not yet in a position to help another woman learn to do so. This is convicting, and it is meant to be. Titus 2 is not simply asking older women to show up and share their opinions. It is asking them to be women of genuine character — women whose lives are already, however imperfectly, pointing toward God. That is the soil from which real mentoring grows. Deeper Than Domestics We sell Titus 2 short when we reduce it to household tips and marriage advice. Not because those things are unimportant — Paul clearly thought they mattered — but because the deeper invitation is to formation. The older woman in this passage is being called to shape a younger woman’s understanding of what it means to be a woman of God. That includes the hard things. How do you love a husband who is difficult? How do you remain self-controlled when your emotions are screaming? How do you hold onto faith when life has been unkind? A mentor who only teaches surface-level skills leaves a younger woman equipped for the easy seasons and underprepared for the real ones. But a mentor who has suffered and stayed — who has doubted and returned — who can say “I have been in that valley, and God was there” — that woman teaches doctrine with her very life. She makes the gospel legible. The Younger Woman Has a Role Too We often read Titus 2 as a charge to older women and nothing more. But the passage implies something just as important on the other side: a younger woman who is willing to be taught. That is not as easy as it sounds. Receiving instruction requires a kind of humility that does not come naturally to any of us. It means sitting with someone whose life looks different from yours and deciding that her experience has something to teach you. It means resisting the impulse to dismiss an older woman’s perspective because the cultural landscape has shifted, or because her circumstances were not exactly like yours. The younger woman who positions herself to receive — who actively seeks out the wisdom of women further along the road — is practicing a form of trust. Trust in God’s design for how His people grow. Trust that the woman across from her carries something worth receiving, even if it is offered imperfectly. Mentoring is never a one-way transaction. The older woman pours in. The younger woman receives and, in time, pours out to someone else. That is the chain Titus 2 envisions — and it only works if women on both ends are willing to play their part. A Legacy, Not a Program There is a quiet urgency running beneath the surface of this passage. Paul is writing to a young church on the island of Crete, surrounded by a culture that does not share its values. He knows the faith will not survive on institutions alone. It must be passed on — person to person, generation to generation, woman to woman. That is still the world we live in. And that is still the call. What you pour into the women coming behind you does not disappear when you are gone. It travels forward. The younger woman you invest in today will one day be the older woman someone else is watching. Your faithfulness — your willingness to show up, to be honest, to point back to Scripture when it would be easier to offer platitudes — becomes part of her story. And part of the story she will one day tell. This is the legacy Titus 2 envisions: not programs or curricula or events, but women shaped by women shaped by the Word, stretching backward and forward across generations. So What Do You Do With This? If you are an older woman — or even a woman who is simply further along the road than someone else — start by asking God to show you who needs you. You do not need a formal program to obey Titus 2. You need eyes open to the younger women already in your orbit: in your church, your neighborhood, your workplace, your family. Someone is already watching you. The question is whether you will be intentional about what she sees. If you are a younger woman, start by asking God to show you who to learn from. Look for a woman whose faith you admire, whose life you want to understand better. You do not need her to be perfect. You need her to be willing — and so do you. And if you are somewhere in the middle, you are probably both at once. Receive from the women ahead of you. Pour into the women behind you. That is the posture Titus 2 describes — and it is one the church in every generation has desperately needed. The question is not whether you have enough to offer. The question is whether you are willing to offer what God has already given you — the hard-won wisdom, the tested faith, the scars that became testimony. Because somewhere, a younger woman is watching. And she needs to see that the Word of God holds.  Click on this image for a free download of "My Titus 2 Story". This free one-page resource pairs beautifully with this month’s post. Reflect on the post and how God has used someone to mentor you with their life experience and example. Also consider who God might be calling you to mentor. Then, share your story.  You get an extra free resource this week, because it fits so well as you consider who and how to encourage the younger woman God has put in front of you. A younger woman can do this, too; there is always someone younger than you to encourage (a teen, or a new believer). Click this image to download "A Legacy Letter" and use it to leave your legacy.
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Ask yourself:
How will people summarize your life? We get so caught up in just getting through each day that we rarely think about the kind of legacy we will leave behind.
We tend to put this off until later in life, but we are actually continually leaving behind some sort of legacy no matter how old we are. Young ladies, this includes you as much as it includes the older women. Maybe it is the legacy you leave when you die. Or maybe it is the legacy you leave when you move jobs, or graduate from one school to another, or become an empty nester, or you retire, or you change your friend group. We are continually leaving some sort of legacy. Good legacy building starts NOW. Not when you are older, not when you get your act together, not when you mend that broken relationship. It’s happening right now. Here’s a hard reality: it is possible that after a couple of generations, few people will know we even existed. Much of what we do will not last; things we cherish now will ultimately perish. If our affections are on anything but Christ, our legacy is going to reflect that. Unless we think seriously about the kind of legacy we are developing, we may leave nothing worth inheriting. Think often about what sort of impact you want to make. If you do this, you are more likely to pass on something of worth to the next generations. Your legacy is actually not about you. It is about glorifying Jesus Christ. It’s not about celebrating your achievements, but it is about maximizing the influence you can have in the lives of others so that your work for God is not in vain. 1 Cor. 15:58 “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” This is something to do NOW, not later. Even you young girls can build a legacy by starting to consider how you spend your life NOW. Exodus 20, Numbers 14, Deut. 5, and Jeremiah 32 all hold Truth that addresses the way that we pass things on to the future generations. Look now at just one of those verses, Exodus 20:5: “I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me”, or more clearly just for the purpose of explanation here in another version, the New Living Translation says it this way: “I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations.” The way we live and the way we treat people has an impact that lasts through the generations to come. Each individual is responsible for their own sin and relationship with God, so I am not and this scripture is not suggesting that we are going to have to personally pay for the sins our parents committed, but these verses remind us that we leave a legacy as we pass on our tendencies, habits, coping mechanisms and many other traits that can play in to our tendency towards sin. Leaving a legacy is inevitable, and it can be negative or positive. Scripture has plenty to say about our legacy. Here are a few Biblical principles that I encourage you to dwell on as you examine your own legacy potential. They are a starting point to serve as a guide for you as you consider what you want to pour in to the next generation. I encourage you to read them in your Bible in the context of the surrounding passages. This would make a great study on what the Bible teaches about legacy: Psalm 78:4 “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” 2 Timothy 4:6-8 “For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.” Matthew 6:20-21 “But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” 2 Timothy 2:2 “And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” 2 Peter 1:12-15 “Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able at any time to recall these things.” Joshua 24:14-15 “Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” One way to leave a Christ-centered legacy is to mentor someone younger than you. If you are a friend of mine, and you are struggling deeply with something in your life, you have probably heard me say “let me help you with that!” Not “I can help you with that,” but “LET me help you with that.” There is a difference.
I am compelled by God’s grace in my own life to share hope with you and others. This is why I do what I do as a Biblical Counselor. I love to counsel people who come to me for help from various places in my community. Often we begin as strangers and end our season of counseling as friends. Sometimes we already know each other and may even be friends already. I have had the privilege of giving Biblical counsel to many of my closest friends through the years. What a privilege that they have LET me help them! When I serve them, it blesses me, too. It’s not because I have arrived somewhere greater than you. It is not because I am smarter or wiser than you. It is not because I am one bit capable on my own. It is because of God’s Holy Spirit working between us as the real counselor. (Throw in whatever giftedness God has granted me by His grace, too.) I’ll let you in on a little secret of the trade. I am not really the counselor in my counseling sessions. I am an instrument. Counseling someone with situational struggles in their life is a fearsome responsibility. I would never do it if I thought that it depended on me. But because I can depend on God, I am willing to counsel those He places in front of me. I am more than willing, I am burdened to help. Why am I burdened? Because I want you and I to live in freedom that the Gospel affords us. There is more work to be done than I, as one woman counselor, can do in my local area and beyond. This, too, burdens me. I am working towards providing Biblical Counseling training in my local area within the next year. There is much ministry to be done, and so few workers. I also provide Biblical Mentor training for women who wish to help others but do not want to take a more rigorous counseling course. I do this so that more people can be helped with the concepts, philosophies, and tools of Biblical Counseling. As I gained experience over the past decade, I began to realize that the best way to help more people is to train others to do the work of the ministry, coming alongside them as they gain their experience. Biblical Counselors not only counsel, they equip others to counsel. Ministry should multiply. Leaders MUST reproduce themselves. Consider these 12 multiplication examples from Scripture, and you will see that there is a Biblical basis for the phrase “ministry should multiply.” Genesis 1:28 (NRSV): "God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion…’" It was on God’s heart from the beginning that human beings would be created for relationship all over the planet earth. Multiplication. Genesis 17:2 (NIV): "I will confirm my covenant between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers.” When God redeemed a family and nation, His intention for it was that it would grow to be large. Multiplication. Exodus 1:12-13 (NIV): "But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread; so the Egyptians came to dread the Israelites and worked them ruthlessly.” Even in slavery and facing a barrage of evil, the people grew strong and overcame. God’s plan always prevails and bring multiplication. Matthew 13:23 (NIV): "But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” The Good News always produces fruit. Multiplication. Matthew 13:33 (NIV): "He told them still another parable: 'The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.’" Spreading Good News brings growth. Multiplication. Matthew 14:19 (NIV): "[Jesus] gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.” When we spread the Good News, God brings the growth. Multiplication. Matthew 25:20 (NIV): "The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master', he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’" Jesus blesses faithfulness with growth. Multiplication. Matthew 9:37-38 (NIV): "Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’” Jesus reproduced Himself in His disciples. Multiplication. Acts 2:47 (NIV): "And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” The Kingdom expands rapidly. Multiplication. Ephesians 4:11-12 (NIV): "It was he [the ascended Jesus] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” Jesus intent is to “fill the whole universe” though His church all over the world. Multiplication. 2 Timothy 2:2 (NIV): "And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.” Generations branch out and pass along the Truth from one leader to the next. Multiplication. Revelation 7:9 (NIV): "After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes…” A great multitude comes out of the generations who have lived on planet earth. Multiplication. If you are not purposing to reproduce yourself in your ministry, and if you do not see your ministry multiplying, it is time to take a look at how you can do so. You need more help. And, it’s Biblical. Today, my pastor retired. He preached his last sermon as a Senior Pastor after 26 years serving in that role in the same church. He ended well - he is not leaving due to strife, disunity, or church discord. It is just time for him to move on to something new that God is doing in his life.
As I listened to him give us a final message this morning, I was struck by 3 things: *It is because of this man’s ministry to my church that I came to a deeper understanding of God’s grace. He has taught me to understand and articulate a clear Gospel message. He has taught me to protect Truth. *It is because of this man’s impact on my life that my ministry is where it is today. He gave me a chance to offer something untried in our midst - to begin a Biblical Counseling ministry. It quickly became fruitful and even when it became its own entity separate from the church, I was always able to go to him as a ministry partner. *It is because of this man’s legacy at my church that I see the need to keep a very loose grip on my counseling ministry. It is not “mine” - it is God’s to use as He sees fit, long beyond my years, Lord willing. Ministry should multiply. In other words, it should be able to carry on long past my lifespan. My pastor has left the church physically, but his legacy will remain there forever. Because he poured in to the lives of people there by teaching us and shepherding us, his ministry is multiplying. If we all are mindful that our ministries should multiply, too, the legacy will remain through the generations until heaven. We will miss our pastor. Things are changing, and we do not know who will fill our Senior Pastor position. But the Gospel remains, and God never changes. In today’s final sermon, he reminded us that we have “hope and strength in the storm.” We are going to be okay. Why? Because our pastor’s ministry has multiplied. I’m not talking about multiplying programs. It’s about multiplying DISCIPLES. God’s Word is clear on the concept of Ministry Multiplication. The Great Commandment (Matthew 22:3i7-40) and the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) aren’t possible unless we love God, love others, serve all, and make disciples who do the same. What legacy are you leaving? Will it exist long past your lifespan? If it is Gospel-centered, Truth-filled, and selfless, it will. If it is self-focused, it will wither and fade and it is quite possible that no one in the next generations will know that you existed because you left nothing behind worth keeping. What I have learned from my pastor is worth keeping. His ministry to me pours out in to my ministry to others. I hope that my ministry to others will pour out of them in to the lives that God allows in their spheres of influence. My pastor has articulated the Great Commandment and Great Commission well in his ministry, and this is why it has….and will continue….to multiply. I hope and pray mine will do the same. Thank you, Pastor Steve, for passing on a lasting legacy. You will be missed, and we will be okay. |
MENTORING THAT MATTERS:
Mentoring at Bridge the Gap matters because it applies all the "one-another" passages in Scripture, which impact the lives of mentees and mentors as they follow Christ. The one-anothers in scripture speak to how we are to relate to and serve our fellow Christians. On Mentoring Matters, we will look at various aspects of one-another care and related topics. All posts are written by Ellen Castillo unless otherwise noted. 
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