 If you haven't read the entire chapter of Titus 2 lately, now is a good time to get a fresh view of it. Maybe you’ve sat across from a younger woman and wondered what you could possibly have to offer her. Your life doesn’t look like a tidy testimony. Your marriage has had its hard years. Your faith has been tested in ways you don’t always talk about. You’re not a Bible scholar. You’re not a counselor. And yet — here she is, across the table, needing something you might not even realize you carry. Titus 2 has something to say about that. Not a polished, idealized version of you. The real you — the one who has walked with God long enough to have scars and stories and a faith that has been tested and held. There is a passage in Paul’s letter to Titus that women in the church have heard many times. It is quoted at mentoring luncheons, printed on bookmarks, and referenced in women’s ministry brochures. And yet, for all its familiarity, Titus 2:3–5 carries a weight that we have sometimes only skimmed the surface of. Paul instructs the older women to be “teachers of good things” — and then he names what those good things are: loving husbands and children, being self-controlled, pure, kind, working at home, submissive to their husbands. At first glance, it reads like a list of domestic virtues. Practical. Relational. Even a little ordinary. But look at why Paul gives this instruction. He closes the thought with a phrase that changes everything: “so that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:5, ESV). This is not a lifestyle column. This is sound doctrine in action. The Doctrinal Stakes of Ordinary Mentoring The passage sits in a larger context. In Titus 2:1, Paul tells Titus to “teach what accords with sound doctrine.” Then he maps out what sound doctrine looks like for different groups — older men, older women, younger women, younger men, bondservants. This is not a detour from theology. It is theology lived. What Paul understood, and what we sometimes miss, is that doctrine does not stay in the mind. It moves into the home, into the marriage, into the way a woman handles grief or conflict or disappointment. The older woman who has walked with God through decades of real life carries something the younger woman cannot yet possess: the proof that the Word holds. When she sits with a younger woman and teaches her — not just what to do, but why it matters, who God is, what He has proven faithful to do — she is guarding the credibility of the gospel. She is saying with her life: the Word of God is not reviled here. It is honored. It is true. She Is Qualified Before She Opens Her Mouth Before Paul ever assigns the older woman a teaching role, he describes who she is. Verse 3 says she is to be “reverent in behavior, not a slanderer or slave to much wine.” These are not afterthoughts. They are the foundation everything else is built on. Reverent in behavior. This is a woman whose life is oriented toward God — not just in what she believes, but in how she moves through an ordinary Tuesday. She is not performing godliness for an audience. She has internalized it. Not a slanderer. The Greek word here is diabolos — the same root used for the devil, the accuser. A woman who tears others down with her words cannot build up a younger woman with them. Her speech has to be marked by truth and kindness before her teaching means anything. Not enslaved to much wine. Paul is pointing at the broader category of self-mastery — the willingness to work on controlling her own appetites and impulses. A woman who cannot admit that she must work on her own struggles is not yet in a position to help another woman learn to do so. This is convicting, and it is meant to be. Titus 2 is not simply asking older women to show up and share their opinions. It is asking them to be women of genuine character — women whose lives are already, however imperfectly, pointing toward God. That is the soil from which real mentoring grows. Deeper Than Domestics We sell Titus 2 short when we reduce it to household tips and marriage advice. Not because those things are unimportant — Paul clearly thought they mattered — but because the deeper invitation is to formation. The older woman in this passage is being called to shape a younger woman’s understanding of what it means to be a woman of God. That includes the hard things. How do you love a husband who is difficult? How do you remain self-controlled when your emotions are screaming? How do you hold onto faith when life has been unkind? A mentor who only teaches surface-level skills leaves a younger woman equipped for the easy seasons and underprepared for the real ones. But a mentor who has suffered and stayed — who has doubted and returned — who can say “I have been in that valley, and God was there” — that woman teaches doctrine with her very life. She makes the gospel legible. The Younger Woman Has a Role Too We often read Titus 2 as a charge to older women and nothing more. But the passage implies something just as important on the other side: a younger woman who is willing to be taught. That is not as easy as it sounds. Receiving instruction requires a kind of humility that does not come naturally to any of us. It means sitting with someone whose life looks different from yours and deciding that her experience has something to teach you. It means resisting the impulse to dismiss an older woman’s perspective because the cultural landscape has shifted, or because her circumstances were not exactly like yours. The younger woman who positions herself to receive — who actively seeks out the wisdom of women further along the road — is practicing a form of trust. Trust in God’s design for how His people grow. Trust that the woman across from her carries something worth receiving, even if it is offered imperfectly. Mentoring is never a one-way transaction. The older woman pours in. The younger woman receives and, in time, pours out to someone else. That is the chain Titus 2 envisions — and it only works if women on both ends are willing to play their part. A Legacy, Not a Program There is a quiet urgency running beneath the surface of this passage. Paul is writing to a young church on the island of Crete, surrounded by a culture that does not share its values. He knows the faith will not survive on institutions alone. It must be passed on — person to person, generation to generation, woman to woman. That is still the world we live in. And that is still the call. What you pour into the women coming behind you does not disappear when you are gone. It travels forward. The younger woman you invest in today will one day be the older woman someone else is watching. Your faithfulness — your willingness to show up, to be honest, to point back to Scripture when it would be easier to offer platitudes — becomes part of her story. And part of the story she will one day tell. This is the legacy Titus 2 envisions: not programs or curricula or events, but women shaped by women shaped by the Word, stretching backward and forward across generations. So What Do You Do With This? If you are an older woman — or even a woman who is simply further along the road than someone else — start by asking God to show you who needs you. You do not need a formal program to obey Titus 2. You need eyes open to the younger women already in your orbit: in your church, your neighborhood, your workplace, your family. Someone is already watching you. The question is whether you will be intentional about what she sees. If you are a younger woman, start by asking God to show you who to learn from. Look for a woman whose faith you admire, whose life you want to understand better. You do not need her to be perfect. You need her to be willing — and so do you. And if you are somewhere in the middle, you are probably both at once. Receive from the women ahead of you. Pour into the women behind you. That is the posture Titus 2 describes — and it is one the church in every generation has desperately needed. The question is not whether you have enough to offer. The question is whether you are willing to offer what God has already given you — the hard-won wisdom, the tested faith, the scars that became testimony. Because somewhere, a younger woman is watching. And she needs to see that the Word of God holds.  Click on this image for a free download of "My Titus 2 Story". This free one-page resource pairs beautifully with this month’s post. Reflect on the post and how God has used someone to mentor you with their life experience and example. Also consider who God might be calling you to mentor. Then, share your story.  You get an extra free resource this week, because it fits so well as you consider who and how to encourage the younger woman God has put in front of you. A younger woman can do this, too; there is always someone younger than you to encourage (a teen, or a new believer). Click this image to download "A Legacy Letter" and use it to leave your legacy.
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 *Why kindness is more than a nicety — and what it looks like when it's rooted in theology* If you have spent any time in this space, you know that kindness is not just something I talk about. It is a core value of this ministry. It shapes how I write, how I mentor, how I show up in community. And it is not accidental. It is something I have had to think long and hard about — because true, biblical kindness costs something, and it is rarer than we might think. Kindness is Under Pressure We do not have to look far to see that the spirit of our age tends toward harshness. Impatience. Dismissiveness. The quick comeback. The sharp edge. These things have seeped into our public conversations, our online spaces, and yes — into the church as well. I am not pointing fingers at anyone in particular. I am simply observing what I think most of us already feel: it has become harder to find spaces where people are genuinely, consistently, thoughtfully kind. And that matters. Because kindness is not a personality trait reserved for soft-spoken people. It is not a cultural preference or a social nicety. For the follower of Jesus, kindness is a calling — and it has deep theological roots. So let's dig in. Kindness Begins with How We See People Before we can talk about what kindness does, we need to talk about where it comes from. Because biblical kindness is not just a behavior — it is a way of seeing. Genesis 1:27 gives us the foundation: "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Every person you will ever encounter — the woman who frustrates you in the meeting, the neighbor who never waves back, the church member who rubs you the wrong way, the stranger in line ahead of you — bears the image of God. The imago Dei. It is stamped on every human soul. That is not a minor theological footnote. It is the reason we treat people with dignity. It is the reason we do not throw people away. It is the reason we slow down enough to actually see them — not as obstacles or inconveniences or problems to manage, but as image-bearers of the Living God. When we look at someone through that lens, kindness becomes less of an effort and more of a natural response. When you truly see that the person in front of you is made by God, valued by God, and loved by God — it changes how you speak to them. It changes how you listen. It changes everything. This is why kindness has to be rooted in theology, not just temperament. Temperament is inconsistent. Theology is not. God's Kindness Toward Us: The Model We Follow Here is the thing about God's kindness that I think we sometimes miss: it is not just warmhearted. It is purposeful. Romans 2:4 puts it plainly: "Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" God's kindness has a direction. It moves toward us not simply to make us feel good, but to lead us toward transformation. It is kindness in service of something greater than comfort — it is kindness in service of redemption. Titus 3:4–5 echoes this: "But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy." God did not wait until we deserved kindness. He extended it while we were still far off, still wandering, still unaware. His kindness was not a reward for good behavior. It was a gift extended in grace — and it changed everything. This is the model we follow. Not kindness as a transaction — where we are nice to people who are nice to us. Not kindness as a strategy — where we are pleasant because it opens doors. But kindness as an overflow of what God has poured into us. Kindness that has a direction. Kindness that is willing to tell the truth when truth is needed, that stays in the hard conversation, that does not disappear when things get uncomfortable. Ephesians 4:32 calls us to it directly: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Just as. That phrase carries the whole weight of the gospel. We extend to others what has been extended to us. We forgive because we have been forgiven. We are kind because we have been shown kindness at great cost. That is not a small thing. That is a life-shaping reality. Kindness Is Not Weakness — It Is Strength Under Control I want to address something directly, because I think it trips women up sometimes. Kindness is not the same as being a pushover. It is not conflict avoidance dressed up in a gentle tone. It is not the inability to hold a boundary or speak a hard truth. Proverbs 31:26 describes the woman of noble character this way: "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." Wisdom. Faithful instruction. That is not the voice of someone who only says what people want to hear. That is the voice of someone who loves people enough to be honest with them — and does it with the kind of care that makes truth bearable. True kindness can hold truth and grace in the same hand. In fact, it must. Because kindness without truth is not really kindness — it is just pleasantness. And truth without kindness is not really ministry — it is just correction. Jesus modeled this perfectly. He was the One who welcomed the children and wept at Lazarus's tomb and had compassion on the crowd. He was also the One who told the woman at the well the truth about her life, who called the Pharisees to account, who flipped tables in the temple. He was, as John 1:14 describes, full of grace and truth — not one or the other, but both at once. That is the target. That is what we are aiming for. But I want to be honest about something here, because I think it matters — and because I think you may have experienced it too. There is a line, sometimes a thin one, between the kind of truth-telling that is genuinely motivated by love and the kind that is dressed up in the language of accountability but is really something else entirely. One is kindness in the biblical sense — it may be hard to hear, but it holds the other person's good at the center. The other is self-serving. It uses correction as a cover for control, or critique, or the quiet satisfaction of being right. The words might sound similar. The manner might even look similar. But the motive is entirely different. Motive is usually the thing that tells the truth about what is really happening. Are we speaking into someone's life because we genuinely love them and want to see them flourish? Or are we serving ourselves at their expense? It is not always easy to discern in the moment — especially when you are the one on the receiving end. I have been on the receiving end of both motives. You likely have, too. I have been treated with genuine kindness by many people over the years — people who told me hard things in ways that I could actually receive, because I could feel that they were for me. That kind of kindness leaves you better than it found you. I have also been treated harshly by a few — people whose words came wrapped in the language of concern or correction, but whose manner was dismissive, whose tone was cutting, and whose delivery left wounds rather than healing. That kind of experience is painful. And it is not uncommon. It is, in fact, one of the more common reasons people seek out a counselor — not because life dealt them a hard hand, but because someone in the church, someone in spiritual authority or close relationship, handled them without care. I share this not to dwell on old hurts, but because it is part of why kindness has become so central to everything I do in Bridge the Gap. My own experiences have shaped my deep conviction that the way we treat people in ministry and mentoring is not incidental. It is the ministry. The manner is the message. And I want this to be a place where women feel that. Kindness in the One-Another Life The New Testament is filled with what theologians sometimes call the "one another" commands — more than fifty of them, calling us to love one another, serve one another, bear with one another, encourage one another, pray for one another. They are not optional add-ons to the Christian life. They are the shape of it. Kindness runs through all of them. Galatians 6:2 tells us to: "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Burden-bearing requires proximity. You cannot carry someone's burden from a distance. You have to be close enough to notice the weight they are carrying, close enough to ask, close enough to stay. That kind of closeness is only possible when kindness has created a safe enough space for people to be seen. This is especially true in mentoring. When an older woman comes alongside a younger woman — or when any woman opens her life to another in spiritual friendship — kindness is not just the backdrop. It is the very medium through which wisdom travels. Think about it this way: a mentor can have decades of godly wisdom. She can know Scripture, have walked through trials, have hard-won experience to offer. But if she is not kind — if her tone is critical, her manner is dismissive, or her presence feels unsafe — that wisdom will not be received. The younger woman will hear the words, but she will not open her heart to them. Kindness opens the door. Proverbs 16:24 puts it beautifully: "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Gracious words do not just communicate information. They bring healing. They carry something the recipient needs beyond the content of what is said. That is the ministry of kindness in a one-another relationship — it holds the message in a way that makes the message receivable. And that is why kindness matters so much in community. In a mentoring relationship, in a small group, in a ministry team, in a friendship — kindness is the condition in which growth happens. It is not fluff. It is not peripheral. It is the environment that makes everything else possible. A Word About the Moment We Are In I said at the outset that kindness is under pressure. I want to come back to that — not to despair over it, but to name it clearly so we can respond with intention. We live in a world that rewards certainty and punishes nuance. That celebrates the crushing comeback and sidelines the patient listener. We have watched that spirit drift into the church, into our conversations, into the way we sometimes treat one another online and in person. We can see it. We feel it. And I think the response of the people of God is not to mirror that spirit, and not to retreat from it in silence — but to model something different. To be, as Jesus described, salt and light. To let our kindness be distinctive. Not naive, not passive, not agreement-with-everything — but genuinely, consistently, countercultural in the way we treat people. First Thessalonians 5:15 is a quiet but powerful verse: "Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else." Always strive. That is the language of intention. Of effort. Of swimming upstream when necessary. Kindness in a harsh world is not passive — it is an act of resistance. A declaration that we belong to a different kingdom, operate by different rules, and see people through a different set of eyes. That is not a small witness. That may be one of the most powerful things we offer the world right now. So What Does This Look Like? Kindness is not abstract. Let me bring it down to the practical. It looks like pausing before you respond — in a conversation, in a comment thread, in a difficult moment — and asking: Am I about to reflect the image of God in this person, or am I about to forget it? It looks like choosing words with care. Not performing warmth, but genuinely considering how the words you choose will land. It looks like staying present with someone who is struggling, even when you do not have the perfect thing to say. It looks like telling the truth — but telling it in the way you would want to receive it. With respect. With care. With the other person's good genuinely in mind. It looks like forgiving the small offenses quickly, and giving grace generously, because you remember how much grace has been given to you. It looks like showing up in someone's ordinary Tuesday, not just their crisis. It looks like asking good questions and being willing to listen to the whole answer. And it looks like doing all of this not because you are a naturally warm person, but because you are a redeemed person — one who has been on the receiving end of the kindness of God, and who cannot help but pass it on. A Final Word Let’s dare to be kind daily, and see what happens in our relationships and in our hearts. Kindness is my core value for this ministry because I believe it is central to the gospel, central to the one-another life Scripture calls us to, and central to the kind of community where real growth happens. But more than that — I believe kindness is one of the most needed things right now. Not sentimental niceness. Not conflict avoidance. But the deep, purposeful, truth-bearing, image-honoring kindness of God, poured through imperfect people who are trying, by His grace, to love one another well. Colossians 3:12 gives us a beautiful picture of what we are called to put on: "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Chosen. Holy. Dearly loved. That is who we are. And kindness is something we put on — intentionally, daily, in response to who God has declared us to be. May that be true of us — in our words, in our communities, in our mentoring relationships, and in every ordinary interaction that God places before us. Because every person we encounter is made in the image of God. And that is reason enough to be kind. Questions for Reflection: 1. Where in your life is it hardest to extend genuine kindness? What might be driving that? 2. How does seeing someone as an image-bearer of God change how you approach a difficult relationship? 3. In what relationship right now might God be calling you to offer kindness that opens a door for truth? 4. What would it look like for you to be a 'kind resistance' in the spaces you inhabit this week?  Ready to take the dare? This free resource is a gift for you. Click on this image to download The Kindness Dare challenge — a free, printable bingo-style grid with fifteen simple, specific ways to live out kindness this week. Small things, real things, things that matter. Check off each square as you go, and see if you can get four in a row. It is a fun, practical way to take what you have been reading and actually do something with it. Print it, stick it somewhere you will see it, and let it be a gentle nudge toward the kind of kindness we have been talking about here. Share it with your mentee and talk about kindness together! For many more resources like this, visit the SHOP to purchase, or join the MEMBERSHIP where downloads are all included at no extra cost.
 There is a woman in your life right now who is doing something brave. Maybe she is starting a business. Launching a ministry. Going back to school. Writing a book. Stepping into something God has been stirring in her heart for years — and she is finally, finally doing it. And she needs you. Not in a way that is demanding or unrealistic. Not in a way that costs you more than you have to give. But she needs what every woman who is doing something hard and new and vulnerable needs: she needs someone on the sideline who actually wants her to win. She needs a cheerleader. What a Cheerleader Actually Is (and Isn’t) Let’s be honest about something: the word “cheerleader” can make us a little uncomfortable. It sounds loud. It sounds like a lot. And if we’re being really honest, for some of us it brings up a memory or two of women who cheered for certain people — and quietly let others fend for themselves. But that is not what I mean. What I mean is far simpler, and far more biblical, than any cultural version of the word. A cheerleader, in the truest sense, is a woman who has made a quiet decision in her heart: I want her to succeed more than I want to protect my own comfort. She is the woman who shares the post, writes the encouraging note, says the kind word to someone else about her friend’s work, and shows up when showing up is inconvenient. She is not performing enthusiasm. She is practicing love. And Scripture has a great deal to say about this. “One Another” Is Not Optional The New Testament is filled — truly filled — with “one another” commands. Love one another (John 13:34). Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). Rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15). Outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10). That last one stops me every time. Outdo one another in showing honor. Paul is not suggesting that we politely honor each other when it is easy. He is describing a kind of holy competition — a race to see who can most genuinely celebrate the other. This is not the spirit of “I’ll be happy for her when she’s earned it.” This is the spirit of I will look for every opportunity to lift her up. This is the spirit of a cheerleader. Titus 2 gives us the framework for what this looks like intergenerationally: older women teaching and training younger women, not because they have it all figured out, but because they have walked the road ahead and can call back with encouragement. That kind of relationship requires something from the older woman, something she has to choose — I will invest in her flourishing, not just my own. But here is the thing: you don’t have to be older or wiser or further along to be someone’s cheerleader. You just have to be willing. The Hard Truth About What Gets in the Way I want to speak kindly here, and I also want to speak truthfully — because both can exist in the same sentence, and that is always my aim. Sometimes we do not cheer for the women in our lives because of fear. Fear that if she succeeds, it somehow diminishes us. Fear that if we pour energy into her dream, there will be none left for ours. Fear that saying “I believe in you” out loud is a promise we might not be able to keep. Fear of looking foolish if she fails — or if we look too enthusiastic in our support. These fears are understandable. They are also, if we let them lead, quietly corrosive to the very relationships we say we value. Proverbs 14:30 says that envy rots the bones. That is not soft language. The writer is telling us that envy — even the quiet, socially acceptable kind, the kind that simply holds back rather than actively tears down — does damage. To us, not just to her. And Philippians 2:3–4 puts it plainly: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” This is the antidote. Not a manufactured performance of enthusiasm, but a genuine reorientation of the question we ask ourselves. Instead of What will I get out of this? — we begin to ask: How can I help her succeed? That shift is not small. That shift is sanctification. What It Looks Like in Practice So what does it actually look like to be a cheerleader for another woman? Here are a few simple, honest, and entirely doable things: Show up in the small ways. Like her post. Share her content. Leave a genuine comment. These things take thirty seconds and mean far more than you know to someone who is doing brave, new work and wondering if anyone sees it. Say the good thing out loud. If you admire something about what she is doing, tell her. Better yet, tell someone else. Word-of-mouth from a trusted friend is one of the most powerful gifts you can give a woman building something. Ask her how it’s going — and mean it. Not as a social pleasantry. Ask with real curiosity. Ask like someone who genuinely wants to hear the answer. Resist the urge to compare. Her success is not your loss. The Kingdom of God does not operate on a scarcity model. There is room at the table — and if there isn’t, we build a bigger table. Pray for her. This is perhaps the most underestimated act of support there is. To bring someone before the throne of grace and ask God to bless what she is building — that is not nothing. That is everything. A Word to the Woman Who Needs This Right Now If you are reading this and you are the one doing the brave thing — launching the business, starting the ministry, stepping into the calling — can I say something directly to you? First: I see you. Second: it is okay to need encouragement. It is okay to hope your people show up for you. It is okay to feel the sting when they don’t, and it is okay to grieve that quietly. You are not asking too much when you hope that the women you love will celebrate what God is doing in your life. But here is what I also want you to hold on to: your cheerleader may not always be who you expected. God has a way of surprising us with the people who show up — and sometimes the unexpected supporter is the very relationship He is knitting together for this season of your life. Keep your eyes open. Keep your heart soft. And keep going. I know this personally. Over more than two decades of navigating the beautiful, complicated intersection of business and ministry, I have been carried by women who believed in me — some in small, quiet ways and others in profound ones. They encouraged me when I doubted, advised me when I was stuck, prayed for me when I had no words left, and cheered me on through every new and scary thing God put in front of me. I am standing where I am today, in part, because of them. That is what a cheerleader does. And that is what you can be for someone else. A Word to the Rest of Us And if you are the friend, the sister, the colleague, the mentor — the one who is watching someone you know step out in faith: Be the person who shows up. Not because it is easy. Not because you have nothing else going on. Not because you fully understand what she is doing or whether it will work. Show up because she is your sister, and that is what sisters do. Show up because the one-another commands of Scripture are not suggestions for when it is convenient — they are the ordinary, everyday practice of what it means to live as the body of Christ. Show up because kindness is never wasted. Ever. At Bridge the Gap, kindness is our core value — not as a brand attribute, but as a conviction. Everything we do here is meant to promote it. And that includes this: the simple, countercultural, deeply biblical act of choosing to put someone else’s flourishing above our own comfort. Be her biggest cheerleader. She is worth it. And so are you.  Click on this image for a free download of "Free to Flourish Together".
This free one-page resource pairs beautifully with this month’s post — it is a set of gentle journal prompts to help you reflect on the freedom you have in Christ, give thanks for the women who have walked alongside you, and consider how you might do the same for someone else. Nine prompts. One closing prayer. A little quiet space just for you. For many more resources like this, visit the SHOP to purchase, or join the MEMBERSHIP where downloads are all included at no extra cost.  Bridge the Gap exists because of a conviction: every believer can mentor, and every believer can be mentored. This isn’t reserved for the seasoned saint with decades of Bible study under their belt, nor is it something only “spiritually elite” Christians do. Mentoring — older to younger, more mature to less mature, whether in age or in faith — is simply one-another ministry in action. And nowhere is this more needed, or more often overlooked, than in our local churches.
The Need for Mentoring Walk into most churches on a Sunday morning and you’ll see adults sitting in rows, listening to a sermon, perhaps attending a Sunday school class afterward. What you might not see, depending on the church’s culture, is the kind of life-on-life relationship where one believer walks alongside another, helping them apply God’s Word to the real, messy circumstances of their lives. Some adult ministries tend to focus on programs: Bible studies, small groups, men’s breakfasts, women’s events. These are valuable, but they aren’t the same as mentoring. A Bible study teaches content. A mentoring relationship teaches a person — their specific struggles, their specific growth areas, their specific calling. Many adults in our churches are spiritually isolated. They may have attended the same church for years without anyone ever asking how their marriage is really going, how they’re handling a recent loss, or whether they’re growing in Christlikeness. Mentoring fills this gap. It moves discipleship from the front of the room into the living rooms, coffee shops, and phone calls of everyday life. Contexts for Mentoring Mentoring doesn’t require a formal title or program to begin, though structured programs can certainly help. Consider some of the contexts where mentoring naturally occurs or could be cultivated. Life stage transitions. A woman entering motherhood benefits enormously from a mother who has walked that road. A newly married couple can learn much from those further along. Someone entering retirement, caregiving for aging parents, or facing an empty nest all face unique challenges where someone who has “been there” can offer wisdom. Small groups and Sunday school classes. These settings often have natural pairings waiting to happen — an older member quietly mentoring a younger one within the context of the group, or a leader intentionally fostering one-on-one relationships among members. New believers and new members. Someone who has recently come to faith, or recently joined the church, needs someone to walk alongside them as they learn what it means to follow Christ and become part of a body of believers. Recovery and crisis seasons. Those walking through divorce, addiction recovery, grief, or a faith crisis often need more focused, consistent mentoring than a general small group can provide. The programs and groups can be very helpful, but there is always a need for one-on-one discipleship. This is what mentoring is. Leadership development. Those serving in ministry — whether leading a Bible study, serving on a team, or stepping into a new role — benefit from someone mentoring them in both skill and character. Workplace and community. Mentoring need not be confined to church walls. Christians in the workplace, in neighborhoods, and in community organizations have countless opportunities to mentor others toward Christ. Some mentoring is “inreach”. Some is “outreach”. Both are needed. Scriptures That Address the Importance of Mentoring Scripture doesn’t use the modern word “mentoring,” but the concept is woven throughout the New Testament’s vision for the church. Titus 2:3-5 gives perhaps the clearest mandate for intergenerational mentoring among women: older women are to teach what is good, training younger women in love for their husbands and children, self-control, purity, and kindness. This passage assumes that spiritual maturity is meant to be passed down relationally, not just taught from a pulpit. Romans 15:14 reflects Paul’s confidence that believers are “full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able to instruct one another.” This is a striking statement — Paul didn’t see mutual instruction and counsel as the job of professionals alone, but as something ordinary believers are equipped to do for each other. 2 Timothy 2:2 captures the multiplying nature of mentoring: what Timothy learned from Paul, he was to entrust to faithful people, who would in turn teach others also. This is discipleship as a chain — each generation pouring into the next. Hebrews 10:24-25 calls believers to consider how to stir one another up to love and good works, not neglecting meeting together but encouraging one another. Mentoring is one of the most concrete ways this “stirring up” happens. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that “iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Growth often happens best in relationship, through the friction and encouragement of someone walking alongside us. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 echoes this call to encourage one another and build each other up — language that describes exactly what happens in a healthy mentoring relationship. Together, these passages paint a picture of a church where spiritual growth isn’t outsourced to staff or programs alone, but is the shared responsibility — and privilege — of the whole body. This is the heart of Bridge the Gap. One-another ministry in action. Benefits of Mentoring For the mentee, the benefits are significant. They gain a safe space to process real struggles without fear of judgment. They receive wisdom that’s been tested by life experience, not just theory. They often grow faster spiritually because someone is walking alongside them, praying for them, and holding them accountable. And they gain a model — someone who shows them, not just tells them, what faithfulness looks like. For the mentor, mentoring is rarely a one-way street. Many mentors find that teaching and encouraging others deepens their own walk with Christ. There’s also the joy of seeing someone grow, of being part of a story of transformation. Mentors often find their own past struggles redeemed as they become useful to someone else walking a similar road. For the church as a whole, a culture of mentoring strengthens the entire body. It builds genuine community rather than surface-level fellowship. It creates a pipeline for future leaders, as those being mentored often grow into mentors themselves. It also makes the church more resilient — when people are known and cared for relationally, they’re less likely to drift away unnoticed during hard seasons. Pitfalls That May Occur As valuable as mentoring is, it isn’t without its challenges, and being aware of these can help mentors and ministry leaders navigate them wisely. Unrealistic expectations. Sometimes a mentor feels they must have all the answers, or a mentee expects the relationship to solve every problem quickly. Mentoring is a process, not a quick fix, and both parties benefit from realistic expectations from the start. Dependency rather than discipleship. A mentee can become overly dependent on their mentor, looking to them rather than to Christ as the ultimate source of wisdom and help. Healthy mentoring points people toward God and toward growing independence in their faith, not toward an unhealthy reliance on the mentor. Boundary issues. Without clear boundaries, mentoring relationships can become emotionally draining for the mentor or can blur appropriate lines — particularly important to navigate wisely in cross-gender mentoring situations. Mismatched pairings. Not every mentor-mentee pairing works well, and that’s okay. Personality, life stage, and specific needs all matter. Churches that facilitate mentoring should build in grace for relationships to be adjusted if they aren’t a good fit. Inconsistency. Mentoring relationships that start with enthusiasm can fizzle without intentional commitment. Setting expectations for frequency and duration from the outset helps sustain the relationship through busy seasons. Lack of training. Well-meaning mentors without any guidance can sometimes give advice that isn’t biblically sound, or can avoid the relationship altogether out of fear of “getting it wrong.” This is precisely why training and equipping mentors matters — confidence comes from preparation. A Culture Worth Building Mentoring in the local church isn’t a program to add to an already crowded calendar — it’s a culture to cultivate. It happens when churches create space for relationships to form, when mature believers are encouraged (and equipped) to invest in others, and when every member sees themselves as both a potential mentor and a potential mentee. This is the heartbeat of Bridge the Gap: helping you grow into a confident, compassionate mentor grounded in biblical wisdom, so that the body of Christ can do what Scripture calls it to do — instruct, encourage, and build one another up in love.  This is an honest and vulnerable blog post about Bridge the Gap, its history, and me. I hope you’ll get a glimpse into the heart behind this work and why it exists as you consider how it might serve you, support your role in the lives of others, and, through you, serve even more people.
I am in the throes of building Bridge the Gap. Today, I’m spending some time reflecting on this journey and thinking about all that has brought me here. Bridge the Gap is not a sudden thing. It is the culmination of 22 years as a certified biblical counselor and many years before that as a helper of people in various professional and personal contexts. As a counselor, I have worked for free for much of that time, and at other times for a very small income. I have owned my own business before, and I have also run a nonprofit version of that business with a small staff that served as a training center for future counselors. I have volunteered in my church and in my community. Recently, I came to realize that I needed a fresh way to do the things I love in this season of senior citizenship. I also need income because my husband and I need to work until…well, until we can’t. I am entrepreneurial at heart. I love the process of starting from scratch with a new idea, finding new ways to do the things I already love to do and feel called and gifted to do. I love the creative process of building something, even when I know it may not meet all my hopeful expectations. It’s fun, challenging, hard, frustrating, uncertain, satisfying, and all those things mixed together. Here are a few things I’ve learned over the years through past ventures and now through my current one. 1. It’s Okay to Get Paid for What You Do Your time is worth something. In some lines of work (like mine), people often think your services should be free. The problem is that people can’t pay the bills with “free.” It still surprises me that no one would ask their hairstylist for a free haircut because they don’t think they should have to pay for it. Yet I hear more often than you might believe that because what I do is “ministry,” it should be free. In a perfect world where money grows on trees, I would gladly do all of it for free. I really would. (And honestly, I have done that too often.) But I know now that it’s okay to charge fees and sell things for actual money. I have to tell myself this every single day. This is probably my biggest internal hurdle. It’s a long story. Every day I have to tell the loud voices from my past to leave me alone. They were wrong to think my worth was tied to my work. They were also wrong to think my work wasn't worth a paycheck. Being a woman in ministry has not been a smooth or easy road, to say the least. But that is a post for another time! I rarely say any of that out loud. I’ve never written about it before. But there it is. I know some of you can relate, and we should be able to talk about these things, don't you agree? Bridge the Gap is designed to be a safe place to share our stories. No judgement. No comparing. All grace. 2. An Old Lady Can Learn New Tricks Well, I’m not that old yet, but I’m getting there. And I’m not really learning tricks. I’m learning website building, online store management, membership site development, who my actual target audience is, and how they can find me. (Not necessarily who I thought they would be, which has surprised me.) I’m learning about marketing and promotion. I’m taking a risk that this may annoy some people. They’ve probably never run a business and don’t fully understand, and that’s okay. I’m also learning to embrace a healthy use of AI. It has enabled me to do all of this in far less time and with far more skill than I could have managed on my own. 3. It’s Okay to Have My Own Voice When I was a younger counselor, I often felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I kept quiet about some opinions because I worried about not fitting into certain circles. Now, maybe because of my age—or maybe because that was exhausting—I don’t worry about that so much anymore. I’m okay being a square peg because I’ve accepted that it’s how God made me. He uses me uniquely within my sphere of influence in ways that may not look or sound exactly like someone else’s. There is a lot of discussion within the biblical counseling movement right now about unity. Those can be fruitful and necessary conversations. But from my perspective, I don’t spend much time worrying about unity—or conformity. I’m more concerned with speaking truth, reflecting Jesus and His character, and applying the gospel to people’s struggles to the best of my knowledge and ability. At Bridge the Gap, we love God and love people. Period. I’ve leaned heavily into my personal core values: kindness, care for younger generations, and applying the “one another” passages with both grace and biblical clarity. When I do that, will it look exactly like someone else’s ministry? Maybe not. And I’m really okay with that. I know I’m doing my best to follow God’s calling on my life. I don’t know everything, but I know God, and I trust Him to lead me—and to shut me up or change my heart when I get it wrong. When someone entrusts their need for care to me through mentoring or counseling, I count it as one of the greatest privileges of my life. As I look back over the years, I can see that every season of my life has been preparing me for this one. The counseling, the teaching, the writing, the mentoring, the successes, the disappointments, and even the mistakes have all shaped what Bridge the Gap is becoming. My hope is that what I’ve learned along the way can be used to encourage and equip others as they walk their own journey. A Few More Things I’ve Learned It’s good to have hopes and dreams and to love what you’re doing. It’s also good to hold every bit of it very loosely and be willing to let it go if needed. Both things can be true at the same time. I love creative projects. I love to read. I love to write. I love learning and growing. I love people and helping them. I love encouraging younger women. I love to teach. And guess what? If you look around my website, you’ll see that I get to do every single one of those things right here in the business I’m building. It’s wonderful to have a project that blends so many of my favorite things while also having the potential to grow into my version of a retirement plan. And the best part? I can even work from my recliner when my knees are sore from surgery. So, what kind of project are you working on and enjoying these days? What are you learning? I’d love to hear about it. Privileged to serve you, Ellen Mark 12:30-31 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is, Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other command greater than these."  The first “mentor” we ever meet is our mother. I realize there are exceptions because of hard circumstances, but many people have a mother-figure in their lives at birth and through the rest of their lives.
Whether our mothers would have considered themselves a “mentor” or not, they really were our first such relationship. If you are a mother, have you seen yourself as a mentor to your children? Whether you are intentional about it or not, you are a mentor. According to the Britannica Dictionary: ”Mentor: someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person.” A mother fits that description! Many other descriptions of mentoring include statements such as “a mentoring relationship is generally long-term” and “often includes life skills and guidance”. If you have a mom or are a mom, I think you can see that a mother really is a type of mentor and the first mentor we encounter in life. A mom as a mentor offers the potential for lifelong guidance as they shape their children’s character. They instill values and confidence. They help a child to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. They are a child’s cheerleader and role model. As trusted advisors, they help their kids navigate life's hardships and learn to care about others. A Christian mom introduces them to the gospel and models how to love Jesus and live a life that reflects Him to others. The type of mentor your mother was/is matters. Consider how your relationship with her shaped you. It can be complicated, can’t it?! Most lifelong relationships are complicated! The type of mentor you are as a mother also matters. Consider how you are shaping your children as you raise them, or how you relate to them as adults. These, too, are complicated relationships sometimes! The Bible never pretends that family relationships are always simple. Scripture is filled with stories of brokenness, tension, loss, jealousy, disappointment, and pain within families. Sarah struggled with infertility. Hagar felt rejected and abandoned. Naomi experienced devastating loss. Hannah wept for the child she longed for. Mary watched her Son suffer on the cross. Even in the middle of those painful stories, God remained present. One of the most comforting truths in Scripture is that God sees what others cannot. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 For those of you who struggle with complicated feelings about your mother, you are not alone. For years, I wanted nothing more than to have my mom’s approval. To this day, I am not convinced that I had that. But before she died, I was able to come to terms with my relationship with her. Long story short, I learned to accept that I didn’t know much about her past. I am not certain what shaped her in a way that led to our complicated relationship. I never learned enough about her background to give me understanding, because she just did not share those things. I can only imagine she had some kind of hurts, disappointments, and other things that really had nothing to do with me. I learned to see her as the same as me - a woman and mother with struggles mixed with joys that shaped us into the women that we became. I forgave her and stopped taking it personally. What kinds of things do you need to sort out when it comes to your relationship with your mom? Do you know when/why/how to forgive? The first person you probably received true forgiveness from was your mom. Moms are often unconditional in their love for their children, aren’t they? We are the first example of forgiveness to our children, too. That reflects the gospel, and that is what matters most. We also model imperfection, don’t we? With imperfection comes the need to see ourselves not as failures, but as daughters of God, wholly loved and forgiven, with an identity in Christ, not in how good or bad a mother we are. We are not capable of perfection, but we do not have to be! Jesus is perfect, and we wear that righteousness as believers. I struggled as a younger mom with feeling like I was failing at motherhood, and I had regrets about a lot of things. MOM GUILT, we call that. I learned that God’s grace is enough to cover all that, He does not hold anything against me, and I am not in control over the things I felt guilty about. There is a remedy for guilt, and I needed and still need to be reminded of that. Applying the gospel to motherhood has kept me from staying stuck in regret. What kind of mom-guilt are you experiencing? Do you know how to apply the gospel to that guilt? It is the only real freedom. If you are stuck, know that there is hope. Reach out to a trusted mentor, counselor, or spiritual advisor. Let’s be grateful for our moms, even when the relationship is or was rough. God wastes nothing, not even a difficult relationship. He teaches us through those experiences to trust Him, accept our identity in Him, forgive others, and love others well. Let’s also be grateful for the privilege of being a mom. Even if those relationships are rough, and even if things haven’t turned out the way you dreamed they would. Again, God won’t waste it in your life or in your children’s lives. If this Mother’s Day is hard for you, you are not alone. Me, too. It’s okay to feel your feelings; it is necessary to feel in order to find some healing. The way that I do that is to revisit the gospel, what it means to me and my identity, and believe that I am fully loved, even if my experiences with motherhood in general have been complicated. None of those complications changes one single thing about who I am in Christ, and that heals my heart today. It’s tempting to put our worth, hope, and identity in MOTHERHOOD. Notice: not even one of these verses says that your worth, hope, and identity are found in having had a perfect mother or being a perfect mother. I looked but couldn’t find it. New Creation (2 Cor 5:17): Old things have passed away, and the new has come. God's Child/Heir (1 John 3:1, Gal 4:7): You are loved, adopted, and no longer a slave. His Workmanship (Eph 2:10): Created for good works planned by God. Chosen and Holy (1 Pet 2:9): A royal priesthood set apart to proclaim His praises. Hidden in God (Col 3:3): Your life is secure with Christ. Righteousness of God (2 Cor 5:21): Made righteous through Christ. United with Him (Gal 2:20): Christ lives in you. Redeemed (1 Cor 6:20): Bought with a price; you belong to God. Citizen of Heaven (Phil 3:20): Your ultimate home is not of this world. Sealed (2 Cor 1:21-22): Anointed and marked by the Holy Spirit. I hope that Truth heals your heart today, too. Ellen This post was first published by the Biblical Counseling Coalition. Written by Ellen Castillo
A Counselor’s Tears Years ago, when I was training to be a biblical counselor, an experienced counselor warned me about showing too much emotion when counseling someone. I remember thinking, “this will not be a problem for me, I rarely respond to someone’s story by crying, and it is not that hard for me to shut off my tears when I feel them coming.” Fast forward, after many years of counseling women and teens, I have learned that there is a place for a counselor’s tears in a counseling session. I no longer always bite back my tears. Tears are a natural response to a burden that a counselee is sharing with me. When a counseling student is concerned about showing emotion in their counseling sessions, I share the following encouragement with them so that they do not needlessly worry about crying in front of a counselee. I am not talking about spending entire counseling sessions crying, of course, and there are times that you might need to tone down your own emotions in a counseling relationship (discernment comes into play here). Often, your natural reaction is to feel deeply for someone in the moment, and you might feel tears welling up during the conversation. You can let tears naturally flow at those times. It is often good for the counselor to be honest with their emotional reactions, and it is good for the counselee to sense your empathy, concern, sadness, and deep care. Biblical counseling is a close and personal relationship. The more natural that relationship, the more a counselee can feel safe to share their stories and struggles. In a relationship, it natural to cry together at times. (If you are not at all a crier, as some people are not, your facial and body language can often serve the same purpose.) The trials of these past couple of years have changed many of our relationships. That comes with sadness, grief, lament, loss, fears, and many things that might bring us to tears. Our counselees likely feel all of this intertwined with whatever other issues might bring them to a counselor. It can be complicated to untangle emotions these days, and it takes time and empathy. As I spoke with one counselee, she divulged that she had Covid at that time and was fearful of the lasting impact of her declining health. She works for a ministry that has lost income since Covid began. She has had relational struggles over the divisive issues of vaccines and masks, and she has lost friendships. She has experienced loss of income as her ministry has been unable to maintain the hours of their staff. As she spoke, I empathized with much of it. It could have been my own story in many ways! I felt the uncharacteristic (for me) tears welling. My instinct was to bite them back, but instead, they just flowed, and so did hers. We cried together for part of that session. This was an appropriate context for a counselor’s tears in a counseling session. Because we cried together over shared experiences, she trusted me more. She opened up during that session in ways she had not even come close to before. It was a session I will never forget, and I learned and gained as much comfort as she did, no doubt. Process Your Tears Together When tears flow in counseling, it can be a teachable moment. The Bible addresses our tears. Jesus is entirely relatable as He experienced sorrow and tears. It brings the counselee and the counselor hope and comfort to see Him crying and portraying the same emotions that we often feel while we are counseling. “And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept” (John 11:34-35). Our tears are not insignificant in the counseling session. On the contrary, God treasures our tears, as He acknowledges them and captures them in a bottle. “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book” (Psalm 56:8)? It is not a waste of time to cry together in a counseling session. It is often a healing experience, and that is a goal in counseling, isn’t it? Counselors often say that they gain as much through what they teach or counsel an individual as the counselee does. This can also apply to sharing tears. It is a profound way to bear one another’s burdens. “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Being Seen In one another ministry, it makes sense that we would share tears. It is human and normal to cry about sad things like loss, pain, suffering. A stoic and seemingly unfeeling counselor is less comforting to some counselees. A counselor willing to let tears come is visibly engaging in the one another verses that are all through the Bible. If you are not a natural crier, that is also ok, as you can still show emotional responses in natural ways like posture, facial expression, wording, etc. But if you feel tears welling, it is only natural to let them come. Consider them one of the many tools in your counseling tool belt. It can feel validating to have someone respond to your story with your emotions. That can go a long way towards bringing someone effective counsel and care. It portrays compassion in a way that words alone often do not. Part of the counseling journey is for a counselee to feel understood and seen. Your tears and other emotional responses can offer that. A counselor or helper seeks to be Christlike, which includes entering into the sufferings of their counselee. Counseling is not only about giving advice and teaching someone how to think biblically and apply the gospel (although it is very much about those things at the right time.) It is first a relationship as a counselor avails herself to bear the other’s burdens. Burden bearing is an emotional and sacred privilege. As someone who does not cry often, that truth brings me to tears. Counselor, don’t forget to cry. No More Sorrow Tears from deep sadness and pain are challenging, but it will not always be this way. You and your counselee can draw comfort from God’s Word when He tells us that one day our sad and painful crying will end. But for now, it is good and biblical to cry together. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4). “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5b). Questions for Reflection
 This post was first posted at the Biblical Counseling Coalition
Our Goal As I assign homework to teens, I keep Ephesians 3:17-19 in mind when choosing assignments: “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” The Importance of Carefully Selected Homework One of the most common questions I am asked about counseling teens is “what resources do you use for homework?” The connotation of the word “homework” is often an issue when counseling teens. After spending a little time discussing why homework is important, they will begin to engage in the assignments as you encourage them. Homework for teens can include things like Bible reading and memorization, journaling, learning to use online tools to study the Bible, practical assignments related to their current issues, worksheets, etc. There are many options for homework assignments for teens, but I am focusing on just one in this article: books. There are a handful of good teen resources right now that are gospel-rich and applicable to biblical counseling, mentoring, and discipleship with teenagers. When I assign a book for homework, I appreciate one that has small chapters and spaces to write answers or notes. This is not because teens are not smart enough for meaty content (I use only content-rich books), but because they have an overload of school homework already and I do not want to overwhelm them with lengthy reading assignments that they will not complete. RecommendationsThe following books are my latest recommendations: What Do You Think of Me, Why Do I Care? by Edward T. Welch This is my most commonly assigned homework book for teens. It is safe to say that the topic of the “fear of man” is a common one in all biblical counseling sessions, and teens have their own particular struggles that manifest from this issue. Insecurity, misunderstanding their identity, peer pressure, people-pleasing, comparing and judging, and various other forms of the fear of man are often revealed in counseling. This book helps the teen to learn about the dynamic in their own hearts that tempts them towards making people the ruling force in their lives. The goal is to guide the teen towards freedom from the bondage of the fear of man. This book is an excellent tool. This Changes Everything, by Jaquelle Crowe Written by an exceptionally bright and solid young woman when she was 19, this book was written directly to teens. She has a passion for the gospel and challenges teens to understand that they were created for something bigger than “self.” She points them to the gospel in powerful and engaging chapters. Teens I have taken through this book have been changed as they hear the author’s perspective. They see that they, too, can live lives to the glory of God. Face Time, by Kristen Hatton Written specifically for girls, the author focuses on “identity” and the struggle to navigate a world where teens are continually exposed to social media and all of its good, bad, and ugly sides. Many teens are in counseling because they have misused social media, or have been bullied on social media, or simply engage in it as a continual distraction to the detriment of other aspects of life. The focus in this book on identity in Christ is why I have assigned it as homework reading for several girls. It opens the door for discussion about the lies teens believe, and the Truth that sets them free. Get Your Story Straight, by Kristen Hatton Because this book has quite a lot of content, I use it for teens who are going to be meeting with me for a while. It is applicable for the teen who may not yet know Christ, to the newer believer, and for a teen who is a more mature Christian desiring further growth. The content offers basic discipleship. This is a unique devotional-style book that can be adapted for your use as needed while addressing topics such as: clarifying the gospel, how our stories intersect with God’s story of redemption, and how to navigate issues of fear, worry, friendships, forgiveness, and much more. This is an excellent discipleship tool for you and the youth you serve. Respectable Sins (Student Edition), by Jerry Bridges I have found this book to be useful for older teens who lean towards a more studious approach to their counseling and homework. It is similar in content to the original book Respectable Sins, but geared towards youth. It is very helpful for teaching a teen the dangers of legalism and performance-based thinking. The Gospel-Centered Life for Teens, by Robert H. Thune and Will Walker This book is written to be used as a small group or youth group study, but can be adapted to the counseling relationship fairly easily. You might find some chapters useful as homework and discussion in your meetings with teens, and others can be used as a guide for your counseling sessions. The content is gospel-rich and helps the teen to understand the gospel and apply it to their life in practical and meaningful ways. The Peacemaker (Student Edition), by Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson The content of this book is what you would expect from the excellent Peacemaker resources. It is very helpful in counseling youth who are in conflict with family or peers. It provides the same principles you find in the other Peacemaker books, but is written with teens in mind. I find this book to be invaluable in my ministry to teens. 80/20 Rule I was once taught the “80/20 rule” regarding books to recommend vs. books to toss out. The rule is that if a book has 80% great content, it is a keeper as long as you can navigate the problems with the other 20% (assuming they are not major doctrinal or theological issues, but areas where we can disagree with others in the body of Christ.) If the books is 80% problematic and only 20% good content, toss it out. It is difficult to make good use of a book that is weighted so heavily toward lack of good, useful content. I only recommend books that I believe fit the 80% great content rule. You can also use the 20% problematic content to teach discernment to the counselee as you work through a book together. Questions for Reflection What books do you find useful in your ministry to youth? What other types of homework assignments do you utilize with teens? |
MENTORING THAT MATTERS:
Mentoring at Bridge the Gap matters because it applies all the "one-another" passages in Scripture, which impact the lives of mentees and mentors as they follow Christ. The one-anothers in scripture speak to how we are to relate to and serve our fellow Christians. On Mentoring Matters, we will look at various aspects of one-another care and related topics. All posts are written by Ellen Castillo unless otherwise noted. 
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